I’m so sorry for abandoning you all over the Christmas/New Year’s period. Moving house and dealing with STUFF has been taking up all my time and I still don’t have my computer set up. We only just got the internet and phone sorted…I am using Hubby’s office to type this up.
Happy 2013! I truly do hope it is happy for everyone and that the world gets it act together and starts putting things right. There’s too much cruelty and hate and general messed up stuff going on. This is nothing new, but it felt like 2012 was in some sort of evil, spiralling vortex of yuckiness, both internationally and in our own little part of the world. So let’s all do better this year, ok?
I usually do write a list of New Year’s Resolutions. I also usually stick to none of them. By January 3rd I have usually wiped out the “lose weight, exercise more” resolution by eating an entire bowl of cookie dough and sitting on the couch reading. I am going to try and just improve myself this year. Eat better, communicate better and just be better at life in general. I’m going to get my diet under control. I used to be so strict about what I ate. Having struggled with my weight most of my life, I used to be super vigilant about watching my carbs and restricting sugar and fat and exercising every day. Being married and having health issues has seriously diminished my ability to stick to a diet plan. The foods I used to eat, which were healthy for me before I got sick and went into renal failure, are now on my no-no list which makes it hard to make a balanced and healthy food plan. So now I can’t eat a banana but I can have a cookie. Which means I don’t stress my kidney, but I get fat. But I can’t use my renal problems as excuses for eating badly. I have to be more responsible for my own health and TRY to do better. So my resolution where that is concerned is to get more information and maybe see a nutritionist who can help me devise a proper eating plan. And also to just stop eating bad stuff!
I need to exercise more. I will never be a gym junkie, I know this. I hate working out in front of people. I feel klutzy and ugly and fat and unattractive. If they developed a gym where everyone could exercise in a cubicle, in the dark with their own music playing, I would sign up immediately. But, until such a place exists, I have to bite the bullet and find a way of exercising that suits me and makes me feel good. I have always been a “walker” and I have seriously slacked off on that this last year. So now we have moved into a nicer neighbourhood, I am going to try to walk a few times a week, maybe get a friend involved if I can to make things more enjoyable.
I need to work on my marriage. It was in serious danger of no longer being a marriage last year and I need to change things in order to prevent the same thing happening this year. I need to communicate better and stand up for myself and also be more understanding of my husband’s needs. It’s hard work. I need to find out who I am and by being truer to myself, maybe I can help our relationship to get back to where it was to begin with – a united, strong, respectful partnership between two people with their own ideals and opinions.
I need to be more organised. In everything I do. I need to not procrastinate and leave things until the last minute. I need to hoard less and be tidier. We are already doing the dishes EVERY NIGHT so we’ve at least got a tidy kitchen every morning. It’s a start.
I need to stop being so cheap. It’s true – I am a tight wad. I am known as a Bargain Queen – this is just a nice way of saying I am cheap and don’t like to spend a lot of money on anything. I went to a friend’s 40th on the weekend. I dressed up and wore heels, a vintage necklace and a pretty brooch. How much did the entire outfit cost me (including shoes and handbag)? About sixteen bucks. Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with spending less on clothes and buying second hand – in fact, it is the trendy and eco-friendly thing to do right now. However, I also spend terribly small amounts of money on the gift I’m giving too. I don’t mean to be mean – I happily give money to charity and would give my friends and family my last dollar if I thought they needed it – my heart is in the right place and I do seek out a gift that the recipient would truly like…I just try and find it for a bargain price. I have a pathological fear of spending money. Which is odd, considering my love of shopping. I do need to just lighten up a little bit, loosen those purse clasps a tad and bust out the cash occasionally.
I need to find a job that I love. It’s not enough to have a job I can just tolerate or manage. I want to be happy to wake up in the morning, look forward to going to work and not count the minutes until it’s home time. I’m turning 40 next year and I do not want to be still stuck in the same miserable job. I need to figure out what will make me happy and attempt to find a career/job/vocation that will fit in with that ideal. I have been saying this for a long time – it’s time to stop procrastinating and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
So, just a few little things to change (…not!). Maybe I will succeed in some of them. Maybe I will be writing the same blog post in 2014 but I sincerely hope not. Good Luck to all of you – hope you reach your goals this year, or at least get that little bit closer to attaining them. I wish you all the best.