Sometimes things just don’t work out. Take craft for example – most of the time I think I can rustle something up that looks ok, doesn’t embarrass me and that most people would think was alright. Other times, no matter how I try or how hard I work at something, it just goes pear-shaped. Colours don’t match, embellishments look tacky and you get blobs of glue where you’d rather not have blobs of glue. I despair of ever making anything decent ever again.
I guess life is a bit like that. You can try and try to succeed at something but it just isn’t your time and things won’t work. Other times you just have to admit defeat and accept that something wasn’t meant to be. Maybe not now, maybe not ever, and that’s ok too.
I’m going through some stuff right now and my capacity for depression and depths-of-despair type moods is limitless. But I’m trying. Trying to keep my head above water, paddling like crazy to keep away from that pesky waterfall that threatens to tip me over the edge and drown me in the murky depths. But I’m trying.
I’ve done some crafting this week. None of it has gone spectacularly well and I am trying not to be disheartened or feel that I’ve lost my mojo forever. I shall share a few of my mistakes and not-so-good attempts at creativity so you can take heart that everybody has bad days (weeks, months) and that life goes on. You might not even think they are that bad, but I am tougher on myself than anyone else could be…
Soldering Effort # 1
I have tried soldering a little pendant. It didn’t go well. My stupid fingers don’t co-operate and I kept dropping the pendant. Also, soldering is hard! I made a bit of a mess but am hoping I will get better at it as I keep practising…hopefully will stop burning myself too although, luckily, I don’t feel that too much on my finger. Nerve damage has its benefits!
The pendant/design itself was ok – quite sweet really and I was pleased that I got the picture in their fairly centred and not buckled or weirdly cut out. I should not have been doing it late at night though because I was rushed, couldn’t see too well in the limited lighting we have and I hadn’t used dimensional gloss stuff for a while. I squeezed too much medium in and it kinda squelched up the sides and INTO THE HINGES – Gah! Panic stations! I decided to let it dry in the end and hope that I could crack/pick out the dried medium afterwards. Seems ok this morning but I wish I had taken more care in the first place. At one point I actually dropped the little door into the still-wet medium and had panic attack about getting it out without messing things up even more. But it is ok if you don’t look too closely…
I wasn’t very happy with any of these. They’re not dreadful but I wasn’t really in the right mood and was, again, rushed and trying to finish them late at night. They’re ok. Just a bit blah. You be the judge.
After that, I did a bit better. This card is slightly better, though not quite hitting the mark…
…although, if you asked exactly what that mark is, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I just didn’t hit it!
I had been wanting to make some jewellery and hair accessories with the pretty little flower cabochons that are trendy at the moment. I don’t normally follow trends but these are so sweet and the colours are cheery and a bit of a departure from what I usually use. Anyway – these turned out ok and I am hoping to make a few more before the end of the weekend.
So, some ups and downs. I guess my state of mind and overall unhappiness at the moment play a bit part in how my creativity works (or doesn’t work). I hope you are all doing ok and not being too hard on yourselves about whatever you are trying to accomplish right now. I’m my own worst enemy and it has become a habit to put myself down and think I am useless at everything. I’m trying to get better at liking myself and being proud of things I do. It’s hard though. Today I am just happy to have some crafting time, regardless of what I end up making, and a bit of peace and quiet to think and reflect and be nice to myself. Be good to YOU too 🙂