It’s been a long week. Which is a bad sign when it’s only Wednesday. Work has been frustrating and annoying and hunched-up-shoulder-stressing and I’m tired and grumpy and, frankly, over it. Lots of unhappy people looking for new jobs and lots of managers not doing much managing, new staff not knowing what the heck they’re supposed to be doing and me, in the middle of it, wishing I was somewhere else. I was so hoping this job wouldn’t be the same as all the others I’ve had, where politics and egos get in the way of people just doing their jobs, and me doing mine. I hate all the negative stuff.
Don’t get me wrong – I am VERY grateful for this job. It came at a time when I needed both financial and emotional security and a place I felt I belonged. And most of the time I do still feel that, but, sometimes, there are weeks when I would rather be just about anywhere else and get that feeling of needing to run away. Or punch someone.
Punching someone isn’t really appropriate and I would be rubbish at it anyway (I throw like a girl so I don’t see why my punching would be any different). Running away would be lovely except that I would be running away with nowhere to go and no job to run back to. Which I kinda need if I am to continue paying my rent and y’know, eat food.
So, punching and running aside, I am trying to come up with some other things that will get me through the week without inflicting bodily harm on anyone including myself. I am supposed to be on a diet, so eating cake is out (dammit!) as is consuming copious amounts of cheese or cookies. I am not allowed to fool myself into thinking jelly beans are anti-depressants although they do have roughly the same effect on me…until I realise I’ve eaten a whole bag and then I feel depressed again and start worrying about my teeth and whether I have just given myself diabetes. So, food is out.
I could start holding up score cards as people walk past me, to comment on their outfits or general style. I could throw bits of paper at them when they’re not looking. I could go completely old-school and make a few “kick me” signs to stick on unsuspecting backs. I could pretend I am on a VERY important phone conversation and speak to no one all day (I’d have to say “Uh huh” and “mm hm…” every now and then whilst holding the phone so that they believed I was actually talking to someone) or book one of the interview rooms and pretend I have a meeting. Then take a nap. A long one.
I could plait my hair into funky braids, tape them to the top of my head and wait to see how long it takes before anyone notices. I could write limericks about staff members and send them out in “ALL STAFF” emails. I could go nuts and clean up my desk and tut at people who leave their coffee cups on it. I could start reading every book in the collection and hand in a book report on each one to myself (which I will then grade harshly and make disparaging remarks in red pen all over it). I could write a bucket list. I could find an actual bucket and write lists about it. I could list buckets I have known and loved.
I could give people “rubbish duty” and make them pick up any garbage outside if they talk too loudly in the library. I could put some ropes across the library doorway and charge entry. I would make popcorn.
I could build a fort out of library books and stick a white flag in the top. I could sit on top of my filing cabinet and yell “You can’t make me come down!” I could take all the dirty coffee mugs, plates and bowls people leave in the kitchen sink and smash them, greek-celebration style and eat fetta. I could do a lunchtime poll just like in Heathers or get people to sign a petition where they think they are agreeing to banning nuclear testing or experiments on animals but really they will be signing off on purchasing me a foot-spa for under my desk. I could walk around saying “Merry Christmas!” to people and see how many reply in kind before they realise it is actually only February. I could write love letters to people in the organisation and sign them “Your secret admirer across the hall…” and watch the sparks (and disturbed looks) fly.
There’s lots of things I could do to get me through the week. In reality I have to just get on with things and get over myself, be thankful I have a job and remember it is only two days until the weekend (and my birthday!). Then I’ll have turning 40 to worry and think about instead. Yikes.
Happy Hump Day all – hope the rest of your week is manageable, free from stress and, hopefully, leaves you in a better mood than I am in! 🙂