30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

I don’t often re-blog things from other people.  It seems a bit like cheating.  But this post (from Marc and Angel Hack Life – check it out) is so good I don’t even care if I’m cheating.  Which I don’t think I am, but still…

Here are 30 things we should all try to stop doing to ourselves – I know I can relate to most of them.  How about you?

 

Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately moulds us into the person we become.

Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.

Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.

Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.

Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Original post written by: Marc Chernoff

Craft shows and Card Making…

Craft shows and Card Making…

Sunday once again and time to do some crafting and possibly some tidying up.  Maybe not so much of the second thing though.  I did put all my beads and jewellery making stuff away.  Just to clear my brain a little bit – I’ve been doing nothing else but making earrings and necklaces and I was feeling like I couldn’t do anything else and had lost my mojo.  I went to a BIG craft convention yesterday with my Mum and a friend from work.  So mega huge (the convention, not my friend – she’s pretty much normal size) and we spent most of our time trying to push through the crowds in order to get to our favourite stalls (which were obviously everyone else’s favourites as well).  It was so busy!  The thing that annoys and frustrates me the most is that a lot of these sellers were from the Eastern states, very few were actually from Perth.  But the crowds were massive and that leads me to believe that it would be a good idea for people to open up craft shops here.  But we are seriously lacking in anything crafty and creative, unless you count Spotlight (and I don’t).  There are a few places you can go of course, but they are few and far between and I think we all hang out for these big conventions so we can get some goodies that we don’t see all the time here.

Anyway, I did spend a bit of money but I don’t think I went crazy.  I’ve been a bit more discerning lately, not just buying stuff because it’s there and is pretty.  I bought some nice beads…

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…love these heavy garnet-red glass ones…

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…these ceramic ones are such a pretty mix of colour…

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…I’m still not quite sure why I got these pink wooden ones but they were really inexpensive and I don’t have a lot of pink in my stash…

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…same story with the blue-coloured ones (even though I have lots of blue already…)…

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…multi-coloured howlite beads at half price…

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…howlite skull beads – also half price – love the bright colours…

I also got card-making supplies including a big Martha Stewart flower punch, some printed tissue paper, wooden kitties, some tiny little wooden birdies that are so cute, some text/words/sayings, lots of nice lace and some gorgeous washi tape with pretty birds and vintage images on.  I didn’t realise the little wooden cats were floral on one side until I got them home – I think I like the plain side better. The printed tissue paper is by Collections Elements and we were lucky enough to be served at the register by the lovely Julie van Oosten who is the creator of the Collections Elements range.  She was kind enough to have a little chat to me about what she does and how to go about starting such a business.  It was so busy and I was very grateful that she took the time to talk to me.  Check out her website and blogs – I have been a fan of her products for years and she is based in WA so that makes it all the better!

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I also got some delicate little paper bird cages and lanterns which I wanted to use straight away.  I made two cards today with them – one has an inked bird cage as I wanted it to be black and stand out more.  I’m a little out of practice with card-making just now.  I’ve lost the old mojo a little bit but I was determined to make some today even if they were just for “practice”. I’m not particularly happy with them, but they’re a start and I will hopefully get back into the swing of things if I keep making a couple each week.

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Before packing away my jewellery supplies I did finish off a couple of items that had people waiting on them.  This bracelet was for a friend of a friend who asked me to make her one and to use any colours I liked.  She wanted me to surprise her.  Which always worries me because you never know what other people’s tastes are.  I made this one with onyx, red glass and the polished stone beads I bought a few weeks ago (they look like little quail eggs to me!).  Hope she likes it.

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Well, I had better go and sort something out for dinner, clear up my mess and start thinking about what I will wear to work tomorrow (does anyone actually find that easy? I swear I don’t understand how I can have a wardrobe full of clothes and have nothing to wear!).  My house smells of cinnamon (I’ve been baking – I needed cookies today) and the heater is on, shielding me from the miserable weather outside.  I’m not quite as miserable inside as I was last night (apologies again for that) and I am going to try and be positive during the week ahead.

Hope your week is sunshiny and happy x

PS I almost forgot – speaking of things sunshiny and happy – this week I nipped into a nearby op-shop, just to have a quick look and I came out with this lovely folk-art-inspired jug.  So lovely!  It’s not vintage or anything but I just really liked the yellow, happy colour and cheeky little rooster.  At $10 it was more than I would usually spend in an op-shop but I liked it so much I had to have it…

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Tunnelling towards something is better than trying to punch someone in the face…

Tunnelling towards something is better than trying to punch someone in the face…

I found out today (on Facebook – the bringer of all news, good, bad, true and speculative) that hubby (I still haven’t figured out what I’m supposed to refer to him as, so he’s still hubby for now until we’re actually divorced.  Then I will have to get used to saying “My ex”) is possibly going to have his girlfriend move in.  In to what was OUR home.  Less than 9 months after we separated.  Which seems very quick to me but maybe that’s how it goes.  For someone like me, who procrastinates and can’t make decisions, it just seems a little fast.  I still haven’t bought myself a proper couch, let alone moved someone else in with me.

I know I shouldn’t be surprised or upset by this. I have moved on and gotten my life together.  I’m doing ok and paying my bills, working and nesting and building a home for myself on my own, knowing I might be alone forever now.  And, on and off, I’ve been ok with that.  I haven’t been harbouring any secret dreams about us getting back together, of him coming to me and begging for my forgiveness.  I haven’t.  I dream about him all the time, but they’re always horrible dreams of him leaving me all over again and being nasty and me trying to win his attention or affection.  So even my subconscious is saying “He’s a jerk”.

But it still hurts.  I think it hurts even more knowing who the girl in question is and knowing that my hunch about them being involved even while we were still together was correct.  It’s a bit of a smack in the face (with a wet fish – a big, slimy, stinky fish).  I don’t want it to be, and I wish I could just go “Oh well..” and get past it, but right now it stings.  Because I couldn’t make him happy and I don’t matter.  It’s the not mattering that hurts the most, the not being important in even the smallest way.  I’m “stuff-you-scrape-off-the-bottom-of-your-shoe” insignificant.  And maybe that’s the way it is supposed to be when you break up with someone.  But it makes me keep thinking I must be a terrible person to not matter to someone who once cared for me.

But I’m ok.  I’m just venting.  It’s late and I’m tired and probably won’t sleep while I digest this new info and try to figure out its place in the world.  I might not even post this because I keep telling myself I shouldn’t be putting this kind of morose stuff on here.  People don’t read my blog in order to hear me whinging about my broken heart.  I should be upbeat and fun!  Crafty and creative!  Inspirational and motivational!  Funny and self-deprecating!  But then I would be lying.  At least for tonight when I am a little bit hormonal and am allowing myself a little bit of wallowing and sadness.  I’m getting better at not wallowing.  I’m an expert wallower.  Have been for years. I could wallow for Australia.  If wallowing was an Olympic sport, my shelves would be littered with gold medals and pictures of me standing on those little podium thingies with a bunch of flowers, wearing an unattractive track-suit and waving at crowds of people as they cheer at my amazing wallowing finesse).  But that’s not good enough for me any more.  Instead of digging myself a big, dark hole to climb in, I’m trying to take a different direction and maybe tunnel a little first, see where it takes me.  If there’s light at the end of the tunnel, and there usually is, I will go towards it and emerge at the other end, a little bit tired and grubby, blinking a lot and probably coughing and wheezing, but at least back out in the light.  And hopefully not wearing a track-suit.  They make me look a little hippy.

I hope I can be important to someone again.  But for now, I have to try and be that person for myself. 

Thank you for listening  x

 

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Catching up…and road trip to Albany

Catching up…and road trip to Albany

Firstly, let me apologise for being absent quite a bit from bloggy land just lately.  Lots going on and no time to do anything, plus I have been distracted and just wasting a lot of time not knowing what to do with myself.  I’m in a crafty mood but can’t decide on what I want to do, and by the time I do decide, it’s time to pack it up again.  There’s been stuff happening in my life that’s been hard to deal with and, again, distracting, so I’ve not been accomplishing anything at all over the last few weeks.

A couple of weeks ago, however, as part of my work, I had to get my butt into gear and take a road-trip to Albany in our state’s South West. I was a little nervous about the trip as I had to drive one of the big work cars and Albany is a long way to travel by yourself.  But I actually enjoyed the 5 hour trip – lots of solitude and time to think (not actually always a good thing for me – thinking leads to worrying which leads to anxiety and freak-outs).  The drive itself was pretty cruisey, if a trifle dull (the land is still very dry at this time of year and you are faced with miles and miles nothing more exciting than a few dead kangaroos and maybe a road-side service station if you’re lucky) and I made it to Albany just as the heavens opened and I was attempting to find where I would be staying.

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I was booked into a lovely little B’n’B in the main part of town, The Three Chimneys B’n’B. The property is heritage listed as has been restored to a comfortable and pretty little cottage with modern amenities.  You were also left to your own devices which is lovely and each morning you were served a tasty, hot breakfast accompanied by cereal and yoghurt, toast and preserves.  I had the place to myself for most of the visit and was very comfortable there.  The first night I was a bit frazzled (all that driving!) and didn’t know where to get a meal for dinner.  I went for a bit of a drive which was a bit dumb when I didn’t know where I was going and it was dark and rainy and eventually found a supermarket where I just bought some yoghurt and a tin of tuna.  Not very exciting, but, as long as I could make myself a cup of tea, I’d be ok.

The furnishings and decorations in the cottage were very pretty and vintage in style – there was even a little reading room where guests could avail themselves of the reading material in the book shelves, or just sit and have a quiet cuppa.

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I did have a bit of a walk around the town and did some shopping.  The weather wasn’t brilliant, so I didn’t risk going too far from base.  Nice to get out and about and get some air though.  I kept forgetting to take my camera with me, hence the lack of photos.

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The Three Chimneys is located not far from the beach – if you look at this photo, you can just see the ocean on the horizon.  The B’n’B is right where that white car on the left is…

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During my few days in Albany, I was helping one of our other branches pack up their library.  They are moving into a new premises – much larger and newer and designed for people with dementia – and, as they don’t have a librarian down there, I came to sort everything out and weed the collection and then pack it up ready for moving.  I really enjoyed my stay and getting to meet our Albany staff – they were so lovely and welcoming and I made friends with their office dog, Pablo, who is just gorgeous and will love the new site as it is much bigger for him to run around and has lots of kangaroos to watch! 🙂

On the way to Albany, and again on the way home, I stopped off at The Williams Woodshed for lunch and a well-deserved cup of tea.  The Woolshed has a lovely cafe, gift shops and displays about the history of shearing and sheep farming.  The lunch was yummy both times – Mushroom Tart on the first visit and three-cheese quiche on the second.  Delicious!

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I had a quick browse around the little shops there, just to stretch my legs.  Their “Swag of Sweets” lolly shop was mouth-watering but I was good and didn’t buy myself anything…

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So, I’m back home now and once again in the routine of work/home/sleep/work/home/sleep.  It was a nice break from things – hard work but also relaxing at the same time and I am glad that I have contributed to making the Albany gals’ move a bit easier.  Next month I am taking on a bigger trip – flying to Sydney for a few days to attend the Dementia Conference with my CEO and another colleague.  I did freak out a bit to start with – I hate flying and don’t want to embarrass myself in front of people I work with, especially when one of them is the CEO, plus the conference itself is supposed to be very busy and hectic and I will have to be on my feet all day answering questions and pretending I know what I’m talking about.  The lead up to it will also be busy and stressful – making sure we have all the right equipment, brochures, display stuff etc to take over with us.  My CEO has assured us she wants us to have some down-time too i.e. shopping or at least catching a bite to eat at a nice Sydney restaurant but it’s still going to be a lot of work.  Still, I am trying to see it as a good opportunity and one that I should be grateful to be offered.  Not everyone gets the chance to go to these things (there may be a few noses out of joint actually, so I’ve been keeping it quiet anyway) and so I am pleased to have been considered as a candidate to represent the organisation.  Wish me luck!  🙂

Apologies again for the lack of content – life has been getting in the way!  I will try to do better this week.  Have a happy Monday tomorrow everyone 🙂

The Wrong Thing

The Wrong Thing

 

Sorry for lack of posting.  Stuff has been happening in my life – well, mostly in other’s lives but I’m kinda in the middle of things because I have to worry and get involved and try to fix things.  This one thing can’t be fixed and I don’t know how to to be ok with that.  Someone I know and love has done the wrong thing.  A very wrong thing and I don’t know if, because I am supporting that person, I am, by association “bad” too.  I don’t even think she’s “bad” but I feel horrible.  I just don’t know what else to do.  I can’t abandon people just people they have screwed up.  

So, I apologise again for not posting.  I’m just dealing with stuff.  Be patient with me and forgiving x

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