I am trying to be good and keep truly negative things out of this blog (mostly for you, but also for me so I don’t look back in years to come and cringe) and I am trying to be mature and let go of things and move on and not be so whiny. But then stuff happens and it is hard not to creep slowly over to the dark side and want to vent a little. So, to do that without being too negative or depressing, I shall tell you my sad tale in the form of a thinly-disguised fable so that names don’t need to be mentioned (I’ve never done that here anyway) and I can try at least to be entertaining whilst cathartically venting my spleen. So, here goes, the sad and magical tale of…
A Girl, Her Cat and the Faraway Journey
So, there was once this girl (ok, middle-aged woman) who lived with a much younger cat. She loved the cat very much, despite his immaturity and strange habits, and tried to make a happy and warm home for him, hoping he would always come home to her and only ever groom himself by her fireside, ignoring all other offers from catnip-proffering floozies, whoops, I mean felines.
As time went on, the girl felt that the cat wasn’t happy. He was staying out late in the neighbourhood, hanging out with other cats and indulging in far too much milk for the girl’s liking. She thought the fault was hers – maybe she wasn’t pretty enough or fun to be around. Maybe she was sick too often or too tired to stay out late and she didn’t fit in with the other cats, who seemed course and ill-mannered. She tried for a long time to change into something she was not, and, in the end, she knew she would never be what the cat wanted.
So they decided to live apart. As the months passed, it was obvious the cat had moved on entirely and did not need the girl. The girl was very sad but tried to be ok and live her life, alone but secure in her own little house with her own things and no one else’s litter tray to clean up. She tried to stay out of the cat’s life, hoping they would one day at least be friends and care about each other enough to be kind and thoughtful towards one another.
Soon she found out that the cat had moved in with a particular ginger kitten whom the girl had always been suspicious of. It hurt the girl but she tried to be mature and let it go, tried not to think about it. She waited for the cat to tell her about the kitten, but he didn’t, preferring instead to let the grapevine that ran through the town do the work for him. The same thing occurred when the cat and kitten decided to travel to Europe together – the cat did not tell the girl, did not think it was any of her business and did not see why he should care if it upset her. The girl was minding her own business, reading news updates on her own social me(ow)dia page when up popped a charming photo of the cat and the kitten, having a feline-fabulous time in Paris. The cat’s mother, whom the girl had always been fond of, had posted the picture, for all to see. The girl was very sad and hurt and also, just a little bit ticked off. It was one thing for the cat to be thoughtless and uncaring, but the girl was a little bit disappointed in the cat’s mother. The girl wondered, if she would ever be free from hurt and if she should actually have gotten herself a dog in the first place.
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OK, so not the best story in the world but hopefully it will have a happy ending eventually (a charming, handsome prince would be nice but I am not holding my breath). The girl needs to get her head together and stop being a drip, torturing herself and living in the past with a cat who doesn’t actually care about her, and possibly never did (that’s the hard part for the girl to digest).
I have been pretty upset the last few days but last night, after seeing the picture, I got angry and then, started laughing. Because if you don’t laugh, you start to cry, and I have done enough of that already. Besides, there are cookies to eat, craft books to read and endless cups of tea, all of which will help fill an emotional void, as well as good friends, family members and workmates. I’m lucky that I have all of those things (and people) and I try to remember that. I don’t know how I would have gotten through the last few years without them.
It possibly would have required dangerous amounts of cake and possibly anything with salted caramel. And cheese. Lots of cheese.
Hope you are having a happy day and not needing any emotional support at all. But, if you are feeling a bit down and need a cyber hug, I am sending lots your way and hoping tomorrow will be brighter and less sucky. I’m emailing you an extra-fudgey brownie right now – did you get it?