I don’t follow many blogs or online forums. I don’t have the time and I’m not one for sitting and reading a computer screen for hours on end (unless it’s Pinterest…and that’s another story altogether!). But one blog I do follow regularly, actually subscribe to, is Marc and Angel Hack Life : Practical Tips for Practical Living. I’ve mentioned them before and, indeed, they are worth a mention. I find their words and topics to be very comforting, spookily accurate and, quite often, exactly what I need at the time I’m reading them. Today’s post is no exception.
I’ve been struggling a little bit this last week or so. Just feeling sad and a tad lonely. My divorce still hasn’t come through and I guess the wait is starting to weigh on me a little. I’m not sure how I am going to react when it does come through, but I’m pretty certain I won’t be shouting gleefully or jumping for joy. It’s an odd feeling, having to say goodbye to something (and someone) that you know is no good for you, but that you still care about or, at least, think about often. I’ve been beating myself up this week – going over and over everything I may have done wrong. I’ve been re-living moments I could have approached differently or ways in which I could have changed to adapt better to the situation I found myself in. I started blaming myself for being me. All over again. When I thought I had stopped those thoughts and self-defeating doubts.
Then, this morning, I read Marc and Angel’s post : 20 Things to Remember When Rejection Hurts
I won’t re-write the entire post – you should check it out for yourself! – but, basically, it tells us how we should value ourselves and believe in our own worth, even when someone else does not. Their opinions and feelings are exactly that – theirs. You have no control over them or their thoughts. Marc and Angel write :
“…. you don’t need anyone’s constant affection or approval in order to be good enough in this world. When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs. So you don’t have to internalize any of it! Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you – it’s something inherent. You exist, and therefore you matter. You’re allowed to be yourself. You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. You’re allowed to assert your needs. You’re allowed to hold on to the truth that who you are is more than enough. And you’re allowed to let go of anyone in your life who makes you feel otherwise…”
It’s exactly what I needed today, before I started wallowing any deeper in self-pity and bad self-esteem. One point in particular really hit home for me :
# 3 Life and God both have greater plans for you that don’t involve
crying at night or believing that you’re broken.
I’m going to try and remember that one, especially late at night when I am feeling sad and alone and doubting everything I am doing or wanting to do.
I hope you believe in yourself today and always x