I haven’t done a “Random Facts about Me” post for a while, which is surprising when you think about how random I actually am at any given moment. These posts are fairly self-indulgent but I am bored and need to write something and, because my house is VERY TIDY for once, I cannot bear to do any crafting and mess it up just in order to write a post.
So, here are some more random morsels of information about me. Please do not use them to steal my identity or write some sort of unauthorised biography that will shame my family. They already know I’m a weirdo – they don’t need to see it in writing. None of them read this, so it’s ok.
- I have OCD. Or, as I like to call it OOCD (Occasional Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I do things like counting stuff before I go to bed, doing things in a certain order etc. My pegs on the washing line have to match – not only match but be colour-coordinated with the item they are hanging. I should just get all the same coloured pegs so they all match and then I wouldn’t have this problem and laundry wouldn’t take me twice as long as it should. Sometimes my OOCD is worse than other times. Stress makes it worse and then it can be difficult for me to leave the house in a timely fashion – it takes time to check locks and power switches, count something over and over etc. But I don’t do the obsessive hand-washing thing or over-the-top house-cleaning (ha! as if!). The tags on my bathroom towels have to face inwards – to not do that makes me frantic. I have to put my shoes on in a certain order (which makes me very grateful that I only have two feet to choose from) and even saying prayers is probably due to compulsion rather than any kind of obligation. I mean, I’m not even religious but I do have to say a prayer at night. Otherwise, obviously, the WORLD WILL COLLAPSE AND IT WILL ALL BE MY FAULT!!! Some days I don’t have issues at all (hence the “occasional”) but it makes its presence known when I am down or emotional or worried about other things. Hardly anyone knows about this. But now you do. Keep it to yourself.
- I am a bit obsessed with Law and Order : Criminal Intent, and have been, since it started in 2001. I watch it over and over again when I am needing comfort and de-stressing. I am slightly in love with Vincent D’Onofrio’s character, Robert Goren. I have pretty much given up on all other men, except for him. He’s perfect. My friends think I am a crazy person, and my male friends do not understand my fascination with this head-tilting, quirky, eccentric detective. I don’t care.
- I have night terrors. A lot. I have always had them, since I was a child. They are called “terrors” for a reason – they are terrifying. My family grew used to me screaming at night, which gives you some indication of how often I was doing it. Used to freak my ex-husband out. Medication helps to some extent, but since coming off my anti-depressants and other sleep-inducing drugs, I am back to doing the nightly screech & wake. I hate it. I don’t know why I do it. I’m sure the neighbours think I’m being murdered or something. Why can’t I have nice dreams about winning the lottery and marrying certain NYPD detectives? It seems very unfair, and something I should have grown out of a long time ago.
- I don’t like gold jewellery. I never wear it. Even when people give it to me (on the odd occasion), I keep it in its box and don’t wear it. I only like silver. I feel bad, but people will insist on giving it to you as though they’re going to convert you to their side. I don’t like gold. It looks super tacky to me, does not go with my skin tone and is very expensive. Let us not forget that I am simple, very pale, and very tight where money is concerned. Thank you for giving me jewellery though, if you have. You’ll never see me wearing it though.
- I hate abbreviations in text or written message. Do not “OMG” me. Do not use “totes” in a sentence or expect me to me say/type “LOL”. I will not do it, no matter how much of a hurry I am in. I am not a thirteen year old girl.
- I am a very bad vegetarian. Sometimes I eat fish. I feel desperately guilty about this.
- I once stole a piece of a castle when I visited the UK, twenty years ago. It was just a bit of broken brick in a castle ruin, but I still feel like I am days away from being apprehended by Interpol or something.
- I sing, a lot. But NEVER in front of anyone. I will literally quit my job or jump off a bridge if someone tries to force me to do it. Same goes with dancing. I get jiggy with it at home in my PJs, but no one else will ever witness it.
- I am a chronic blusher. I will turn rosy-cheeked at the slightest provocation. It tormented me in my high-school years. I looked like I permanently had a fever.
- I have never been drunk. I don’t see the point in it.
- I have never smoked. I don’t see the point in it. It is for stupid people and I try very hard not to be stupid, if I can help it.
- I am terrified of social situations. I would rather rip out my own appendix than go to a party. Fortunately, my body is very much in tune with my brain and emotions, so I can, however unintentionally, make myself physically ill enough to prevent me from going to parties and having to interact with people. Again, something I should have grown out of. But it’s a bit late now.
- I can’t wear yellow. It makes me look very ill. I actually like yellow, but it does not like me. If I wear it, I look like I have gone into liver failure or have caught some sort of plague.
- I have been a bridesmaid three times. That is enough. I shan’t do it again. You can only wear bad dresses so many times. Plus you always have to dance and I have already explained my aversion to that. Dancing in a bad dress is just an unkind form of punishment, perpetuated by people who are supposed to care about you.
- I get violently angry when people spell “lose” with an extra “o”. It makes me apoplectic.
- I like using the word “apoplectic”.
- I have had approximately 20-25 geese during my life. I love them. I wish I had some now but I don’t think they would like living in a courtyard with no grass. And my neighbours would complain. Even though geese are AWESOME and anyone who thinks otherwise is a crazy person.
- My Mum is buying me some plastic bowls for Christmas because I keep breaking my ceramic ones. I can no longer be trusted with nice things.
- I love writing. I don’t claim to be any good at it but I do enjoy it. I like waffling, basically. Having a blog is a great outlet for this. Having people occasionally read it is amazing and humbling. And somewhat scary. But it also keeps you honest and evolving and accountable, I suppose. I’ve stopped worrying about revealing things about myself that may be embarrassing. At least I’m not lying or making myself out to be something I’m not. I have wanted to write a book since I was little, but have yet to get started on that. I don’t know what it would be about. A goose-loving, messy, slightly crazy grammar nazi who falls in love with an NYPD detective and lives happily ever after in a house with no breakables. Sounds like a best seller to me, people!
- I am terrible at hugs. I want to be better at them but I am very awkward. I seem to not be able to coordinate my arms and the rest of my body into one organised movement. Plus I have tremendous self-image issues so I feel that any physical contact with people will only give them tactile proof that I am hideously repulsive. At the same time, I am desperate for hugs and affection. Such is the dichotomy of my life.
21. “Dichotomy” is another word I like using.
So, that’s pretty much all I can come up with today (thank goodness for that, you say!). About half way through I lost interest. I hope you stuck with it though. Any suggestions for what I can call my best-selling novel will be kindly accepted, as will step-by-step instructions for the perfect hug. If you know a cure for night terrors and social anxiety, let me know that too – I am all ears/eyes. Just don’t ask me to dance 🙂