Nothing I worked on today worked out. NO-THING. It was horrible and debilitating and tear-inducing. I suck. My art sucks and I am sucking at everything. It sucks. Etc.
So, did I give up and boo-hoo and feel sorry for myself? Why, yes, I did. Very much so. But I also kept going (after the giving up part). I also didn’t eat a cookie (which is my normal way of dealing with a bad day). To be fair, I didn’t HAVE any cookies, so I couldn’t be tempted, but still…I didn’t go down the shop and get any either. Probably because that would have required shoes and a bra, and that wasn’t happening today.
I just kept trying. Trying in vain, mostly, because everything I touched turned into absolute rubbish, but trying nevertheless.
In between rounds of self-loathing and looking for cookies (ok, I’ll be honest), I made a card for a lovely penpal of mine. Rem and I have been writing to each other for 21 years (count ’em!) and despite my inability to remember his birthday even after all these years, I consider him to be a very dear friend. You can tell a penpal stuff you wouldn’t tell your regular friends. You can pour your heart out in a letter and never have to worry about seeing looks of disgust or disappointment on their faces. It’s very freeing. Also, they sometimes have amazing partners whom you can also be friends with (Hi, Dianne!) and be supported and inspired by (check out Dianne’s blog HERE – it’s awesome).
Rem and I usually email each other now – such is the technological world we live in and it’s cheaper than stamps – and I look forward to catching up with him and Dianne each week. He’s seen me through illness and depression and crappy marriages and unemployment and new jobs/bad jobs/looking for jobs. He is a man of distinctive qualities indeed (ie he has put up with me for a couple of decades).
So I owe him a card or two…or twenty.
So, Happy Belated Birthday Rem! Hope you had an amazing week and will forgive my tardiness yet again – the card is in the mail, I promise x