I had a mental health day this week. I have decided to do that whenever things are really getting on top of me. I have lots of annual leave owed to me and a fair amount of sick leave too, so I’m not doing anything dodgy. Sometimes I just feel yucky and unwell, mentally and emotionally, and that is just as bad as having actual illness. I have had a cold for the last week or so, and didn’t take time off for that, but it did take its toll, as well as some generalised stress and worry that was making me feel exhausted and sad. My blood pressure and vertigo has been acting up too, usually a sign that I need to take some time out and rest and have a do-nothing day. I am not good at doing nothing so I really have to force myself to sit and watch TV or do something equally brain-numbing.
So, this week, I sat and watched some bad TV, including a made-for-television movie about some crazy-with-love obsessed murderer lady who wore cow earrings and baked pot-pies and was bad news for all who knew her. SO trashy. But I couldn’t stop watching it. If only for the bad acting and 90s fashions (cow-hide bustier anyone?).
I also doodled. I’ve been buying a few books on drawing lately, trying to improve my somewhat limited skills, and so I doodled a few little people following some of Gemma Correll’s design instructions in her book “Doodling for Fashionistas“. They still look like my little people, but maybe with better arms and hands and clothes, in some instances. I still can’t do eyes, but I am working on that 🙂 I will colour them in later too, but I have had a bad neck and back this week so I can’t sit for long periods bent over a paint palette right now. They’ll have to be black and white for a little while longer…
I’m trying really hard to learn and improve – I can’t just keep saying “I can’t draw” and giving up and throwing in the towel. I have to keep practising and working on things I’m not so good at. It’s the only way I’ll ever get better, right? I think I am always scared to try things because if I don’t get it right straight away, I chuck and wobbly and give up and never want to try it again. It’s probably time to stop doing that. If only for my own sanity and self worth. And also because I probably shouldn’t be chucking wobblies at my age. It’s very unbecoming. Bad for your complexion and whatnot.
Here’s to practising until perfect (or faking it ’til you make it –
whichever is more realistic!). This quote, that I read today, sums it up perfectly :
“…To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong…” – Joseph Chilton Pearce
Have a happy, creative day everyone x