Lots of little monsters in my head at the moment. The doubt and fear monsters, the “am I doing the right thing?” monsters, the “what am I doing with my life?” monsters and all the other noisy little beasties that plague my brain. To be honest, I am feeling completely lost and anxious and unsure about everything. I don’t know what the heck I am doing or what I SHOULD be doing or if anything I am doing is right or a waste of time. I feel like I am not being a good friend or daughter or sister or employee or ANYTHING right now.
The drama with the house purchase continues and is threatening to drive me completely crackers. It’s been such a long, drawn-out process, with no one on either side seeming in the least bit competent or able to do their job efficiently. I am trying to keep it together – the last few weeks I have done exactly the opposite and have had several meltdowns and hissy fits – and am attempting to be assertive and in control of the situation. My natural tendency is to run around, trying to fix everything and do everyone’s job for them. But not this time – I have to do what is required of me and no more.
So, with house dramas and a sick Mum (my fault – I gave her my lurgy; I’m a terrible daughter), work stress and a general feeling of just wanting to stay in bed forever, the little monsters are running amok. I haven’t been doing any crafting at all (just can’t settle my brain to it, plus I am packing and culling) and that isn’t good for me either. So I did some doodling. The idea of the monsters was on my mind, so that’s what I drew.
If only all worries and scary thoughts could be put on to paper and made less frightening… I think I could take on this little guy and win.
Hope your day is free from monsters x