Ah goals…you’re supposed to have those, right? My ex-husband told me that I didn’t have enough ambition for him and that I just “drift through life”. Which was a bit shit to be honest. Sure, I don’t want to climb the corporate ladder or live in a mansion or drive a Ferrari, but I do have ambitions. Having survived a life-threatening illness, I felt for a long time that just being alive and staying that way was ambition enough for anyone, and if I achieved anything else, all well and good.
But he was probably right in a way (damn him!). I don’t exactly strive for greatness. I always just wanted to be a good person, rather than a great one. Money was never a big motivator for me (although, now I have a mortgage looming, I might change that way of thinking!) and I never really cared if I had a high-powered job or was well known in my industry (or any industry!). I just wanted to do ok and get by and not hurt anyone along the way. I wanted to be content and happy with my lot. And have people that love me. That’s pretty much it. And, for the most part, I have achieved that.
So, in the spirit of this blogging challenge, here are some current goals I have tucked away. Some of them are bigger than others. Some are teeny-tiny. But, goals they are. So there. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, doubters!
My Five Current Goals
- Reach settlement on my house, move in to it and out of my rental without having a nervous breakdown or killing someone.
- Lose some weight. Again. Sigh.
- Sort my mental issues out. This year has been hard and I am not ashamed (well, maybe a little ashamed) to admit I have not been coping. Very dark thoughts have been hovering and I have found myself spiralling quite messily into pits of anxiety-based despair and panic. No one to blame but myself. And my brain chemistry. And I was never very good at chemistry, so I need to sort something else out. Find ways to be better at life and being human. I’m sure there’s a manual for it somewhere, right?
- Figure out what I want to do and get a new job that reflects that. ‘Tis hard though…
- Learn to be tidy. I have promised myself I will not be a feral filth wizard in my new house. Without the threat of rent inspections, it is likely I will fall into very bad habits. So I am determined not to. I am going to have a routine, dammit! I will do the dishes every night and make my bed and put my laundry away and make my house a haven of calm pristine-ness. And, if that fails, I will just hide all my crap upstairs ha ha. Why do you think I wanted a two-storey? 🙂
Whatever your goals are, I hope you are achieving them at your own pace and with no pressure from anyone else. And if YOU want to “drift through life”, I am totally ok with that. You have my absolute blessing 🙂