It’s time for a change, people!
I have been writing this blog for almost 5 years now (wow – it actually feels like much longer…not sure if that is a good or bad thing…) and there are days when I feel really pleased about what I’ve posted. But then there are other times when I read over posts and cringe inwardly. Because I tend to overshare. A lot. Also, I tend to not really think about who is reading my blog, and whether anything I say could be damaging, either professionally or personally.
I recently discovered my fourteen year old niece reads my blog. At first, I was delighted. My beautiful, amazing, teenage niece is reading MY blog and telling me it’s “awesome”. I mean, for an old fart like me who has never been cool a day in her life, that’s pretty rad.
Then I thought about it a bit more and went into panic mode. There’s stuff on here I don’t want her to read. Not because I have lived the life of a reprobate (far from it – I am LITERALLY the most boring person in the world. I am certain if you look in the dictionary under the word “dull”, my name is there in italics somewhere) but because I am sometimes a bit too quick to spill my emotional beans and reveal things I shouldn’t. And there are things I am not proud of. And there are things that I should be more careful about keeping to myself. Not because they are things to be ashamed of, but because they are private and personal and not meant for the world at large.
I’ve always been pretty open about stuff. And while that is a good thing in relationships, I don’t know that it is necessarily wise when you are creating a blog that could potentially be read by millions of people. Ok, so it’s unlikely that THAT will happen, but I still have to protect those closest to me and not share stuff that is really meant for private conversations.
When I was going through my marriage breakup, I spewed forth “woe-is-me” tales of my broken heart and feelings of abandonment. I said more about my ex-husband that was necessary. I don’t want that to be “out there”. I don’t want to be that bitter and twisted ex-wife. And I was, for a long time. I tried really hard not to be, but this blog was an outlet and I needed to be heard some days.
But that need has diminished and now I just want to move on and not dwell on the darker days. I don’t want that to be part of my story. And the easiest way to prevent that, is just to delete it. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to go back over old posts and remove anything that is no longer relevant or appropriate. I want this to be an authentic blog, but a mostly uplifting one. I’m not going to pretend I am full of the joys of Spring all the time but I am going to try and leave the gloomy, personal stuff out, as much as I can. Because I think it will help me. And I need to learn to be less over-sharey. Or, at least, learn to open up more to the people around me, rather than sharing with strangers on the internet. Because y’all don’t need to hear it.
So, anyway, I am going to changing some stuff and removing some posts. I’m going to focus on good things and the stuff that makes life better. I am doing it to protect myself, but also to project a better image to the young ones who are very dear to me. Not lying or presenting a fake face, but focusing on the lighter side of life. The world is so dark right now, the less misery and gloom we can bring into it, the better.
Hope that is ok with you all. Feel free to send me a cyber slap if I regress 🙂
And to my gorgeous niece, and her equally amazing sister – your Auntie loves you to the moon and beyond. Be yourselves and be proud of who you are x