Image

Blogging Challenge – Day Thirteen : What’s Inside My Fridge

30-day-blogging-challenge[1]

My fridge is not the world’s most exciting appliance.  It is usually half-empty and, at times, contains very little in the way of actual food items.  I tend to wait until I am almost entirely out of groceries before I buy any more so I don’t double up or have lots of wastage.  I HATE wasting food.  It annoys me and makes me feel bad.  I am one of those people who cuts up slightly withered and sad vegetables for soups.  I try not to over-buy in the first place because I am just one person, and even I can only eat so much.

At the moment, because I am soon to move into my new house, I am trying not to buy too much stuff, especially frozen items.  The less I have to take with me, the better!  So my fridge is a little bit empty – it just has the basics – and I shop a few times a week, which is not very cost-effective but, for the moment, will have to be the way it is.

So, what’s in my fridge? :

  1. Cheese.  I am planning on reducing my cheese intake by about a million percent once I have moved.  I eat way too much and I am not supposed to actually eat much of it at all.  Currently, I have feta, colby and parmesan.
  2. Tofu.  Another staple.  At the moment it is silken firm tofu, because I want to make tofu burgers but, at other times, it will be firm stir-fry or marinated.
  3. Soy milk.  For tea!
  4. Rice milk.  It’s kinda gross but I am trying not to have too much soy.  I use rice milk in my porridge.
  5. Baby beetroot.
  6. Carrots.
  7. Lettuce.
  8. Cucumber.
  9. Spring onions.  Which reminds me, I should throw those out – they’re a little bit stinky and I don’t think I can even salvage them in a soup.
  10. Chocolate – not mine.  It’s been there for a year or two.  I should probably chuck it.
  11. Apples.
  12. Half a lemon.
  13. Leftover risotto.
  14. Jar of minced garlic.
  15. Jar of minced garlic and ginger.
  16. Sauces. A variety!
  17. Olives.  Actually, more truthfully, it is a jar with two olives in it.  I don’t know why it is still there and why I didn’t just eat the two olives.
  18. Eggs.  Well, a carton with one lonely little egg in it.
  19. Tin of tuna.
  20. Probiotic tablets.
  21. Sundried tomatoes.
  22. Synthetic erythropoietin injections. It is used to treat anemia, which is a side effect of renal failure.  I haven’t had to have the injections for about two years now.  I should probably ditch them.  I keep forgetting.  And yes, I will dispose of them thoughtfully at my local pharmacists’s.  They are nasty looking things (the injections, not my pharmacists).  I didn’t enjoy having to have them.  They are quite big needles and I had to inject myself in the tummy.  Not pleasant, but you do what you have to do!
  23. Sesame dressing.  Because I am addicted to it.
  24. The freezer is full of frozen vegies and long-forgotten wedges of quiche or other things I have made and, um, forgotten about.  There’s also Lebanese bread and some icy poles I made in the Summer which didn’t taste very nice and I didn’t eat.  Disappointingly, there is no ice cream.  This makes me more sad than words can express. *sighs*

And that’s it, really.  I’d like to say it’s overflowing with fresh fruit and veg, but I find I can’t eat it quick enough before it goes off, so I tend to buy it as I need it, rather than wasting any.  I go to a nice local market that sells really good quality produce and it costs half as much as the normal supermarket.  I will have to find a different market once I move, or make the trek down to my usual one (it’s worth it).

Hopefully I will be able to report, in my new house, that my fridge is full of lots of healthy fruit and veg with nothing I should be ashamed of (or have to hide in the back so no one sees it).  My plan is to be “good” and leave me comfort-eating (read : cheating) behind me.  That’s what new starts are for, right?

May your fridge, your life, and your heart always be full and blessed with plenty!
Thanks for reading.

🙂

Advertisements
Image

Blogging Challenge – Day Eight : 5 Current Goals

30-day-blogging-challenge[1]

Ah goals…you’re supposed to have those, right?  My ex-husband told me that I didn’t have enough ambition for him and that I just “drift through life”.  Which was a bit shit to be honest.  Sure, I don’t want to climb the corporate ladder or live in a mansion or drive a Ferrari, but I do have ambitions.  Having survived a life-threatening illness, I felt for a long time that just being alive and staying that way was ambition enough for anyone, and if I achieved anything else, all well and good.

But he was probably right in a way (damn him!).  I don’t exactly strive for greatness.  I always just wanted to be a good person, rather than a great one.  Money was never a big motivator for me (although, now I have a mortgage looming, I might change that way of thinking!) and I never really cared if I had a high-powered job or was well known in my industry (or any industry!). I just wanted to do ok and get by and not hurt anyone along the way.  I wanted to be content and happy with my lot.  And have people that love me.  That’s pretty much it.  And, for the most part, I have achieved that.

So, in the spirit of this blogging challenge, here are some current goals I have tucked away.  Some of them are bigger than others.  Some are teeny-tiny.  But, goals they are.  So there. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, doubters!

My Five Current Goals

  1. Reach settlement on my house, move in to it and out of my rental without having a nervous breakdown or killing someone.
  2. Lose some weight.  Again.  Sigh.
  3. Sort my mental issues out.  This year has been hard and I am not ashamed (well, maybe a little ashamed) to admit I have not been coping.  Very dark thoughts have been hovering and I have found myself spiralling quite messily into pits of anxiety-based despair and panic.  No one to blame but myself.  And my brain chemistry.  And I was never very good at chemistry, so I need to sort something else out.  Find ways to be better at life and being human.  I’m sure there’s a manual for it somewhere, right?
  4. Figure out what I want to do and get a new job that reflects that.  ‘Tis hard though…
  5. Learn to be tidy.  I have promised myself I will not be a feral filth wizard in my new house.  Without the threat of rent inspections, it is likely I will fall into very bad habits.  So I am determined not to.  I am going to have a routine, dammit!  I will do the dishes every night and make my bed and put my laundry away and make my house a haven of calm pristine-ness.  And, if that fails, I will just hide all my crap upstairs ha ha.  Why do you think I wanted a two-storey? 🙂

Whatever your goals are, I hope you are achieving them at your own pace and with no pressure from anyone else.  And if YOU want to “drift through life”, I am totally ok with that.  You have my absolute blessing 🙂

Image

Blogging Challenge – Day Five : Your Proudest Moment

30-day-blogging-challenge[1]

This is a tricky one.  I have the world’s worst self-esteem so I don’t know that I ever feel proud of myself.  Which I should probably work on, I know.  I like to think my proudest moment is yet to come – that something really great is just around the corner, and that I’m not “done” yet.

Today I am proud of myself for signing mortgage papers.  Proud, and terrified.  I’m proud of myself for taking this giant leap into adulthood (albeit a few decades late) and I am proud that I didn’t back out or delay it for another few years.  I am proud (and somewhat surprised) that I am even in the position to be buying a house.  Me!  Little, timid, non-ambitious Me!  I am buying a house!  It’s kinda crazy and hard to believe, because I really didn’t think it was something I would ever be brave enough to do.

There is lots of fear – will I be able to afford it, long term?  What happens if I lose my job?  What if I have made a terrible mistake?  All those things go through my mind a million times a day.  Which I am sure is normal.  It might be the one time in my life I am having normal thoughts!  But I can’t live in fear forever – I have to put my big girl pants on and be a grown-up and stop hiding behind my worries.

There is still settlement to get through and that will be a long and drawn-out process, if the rest of the experience is anything to go by.  But I have to just trust it will be ok and get sorted eventually.  I will be proud of myself for staying calm, if I can do that, and holding my ground if negotiations go awry.  I hope it is settled on time though, and without further complications, because I am not brave and I am not very good at handling anything outside of my usual realm of daily drama.  I have very little reserves, to be honest.  Something else I should work on.  Add it to the list.

So, today I am allowing a little pride to creep in.  It’s an uneasy pride, but it’s there nevertheless.  Just because I have come a long way and am doing this on my own and making big decisions and securing my future, as best as I can, in my own way.  If I can keep meltdowns and conniption-fests to a minimum, that will really be something to be proud of.  But we still have moving day to get through yet, so let’s not get too optimistic 🙂

IMG_1669

Have a happy day everyone and be proud of yourselves x

Image

Blogging Challege : Day 1 – Blog Name

Originally posted in Swinging With Babies , this blogging challenge (which, in turn, came from livelovesimple.com) is going to help me on the days when my brain is not working very well and I can’t think of anything to write, photograph or blog about.  Which is often, these days, let’s be honest.

30-day-blogging-challenge[1]

So, today’s topic : My Blog’s Name.  Why did I call this blog The Paper Wallflower?  Well, mostly, because the name “The Speckled Egg” was taken, ha ha.  Truly.  I wanted The Speckled Egg as my blog name.  I’m always using eggs (or, at least, pictures of) in my
card-making, and speckled eggs are very popular as a design element/feature, but the name was taken, by a few different blogs, so I moved on.

I obviously favour paper above all other crafty mediums – I use it for card-making and collaging, drawing, painting, journaling, writing etc, so having “paper” in my blog title seemed a given.  Then, I was going to incorporate my favourite flower – violets – into the name but couldn’t make it work, and I didn’t want to have just my name, Violet Annie, as the main heading.  So, I chose a wallflower.  It seemed fitting – I am horribly socially anxious, the absolute prime example of a wallflower (if anyone is sitting on the outskirts of a dance, not dancing, it is me) and the title seemed to work.

So that’s pretty much it.  Not a very exciting story, but there you are 🙂  I’m happy enough with it, as a blog name.  It will do!  I guess I’m stuck with it now anyway.

I should, at this point, while we’re on the topic of names, confess that my real name is not Violet Annie.  It’s my business-if-I-had-a-business name.  It’s actually my Grandmother’s name and, as violets are my favourite flower, I pinched it for my own devices.  I don’t think it’s a great idea to have your real name out there on the internet for all to see.  Even though, in reality, I’m sure it’s easy enough to find.

My Grandmother was an amazing lady – she lived with us for the last 15 or so years of her life, after she emigrated at 80, until she was 95.  No dementia or any real health issues, she was a character alright.  Loving in her own way and, despite being a tad cantankerous at times, she was very grateful for everything we did for her.  My Mum had quite a tough time with her, some days – she wasn’t always easy to deal with – and we all had to care for and look after her on a daily basis.  She was fairly independent, right up until the end, and didn’t ask for much except company and her blessed smokes (sigh…you can’t tell someone who is 95 years old that smoking is bad for them).

I will always remember her last night on this Earth.  She had taken ill in the day (respiratory problems, not surprisingly) and was in hospital.  Mum and I went to visit her in the evening (she’d only been admitted that morning, and was doing quite well, all things considered) and she was sitting up in bed, eating her dinner (pumpkin soup – her favourite) and complaining about the nurses.  She was calm and not frightened or distressed (a huge blessing for my Mum – she didn’t want to leave her if she was upset) and talked about coming home the next day.

But there was no next day for her.  At around 2am, we received a call from our GP.  Nanna had passed away, very peacefully, in her sleep.  The doctors and nurses were all a bit shocked – they had not expected her to go so quickly, although she was not expected to come out of hospital any time soon.  I really believe her spirit just decided it was time to go.  She was warm, her belly full and we were all safe.

So, I guess this blog is dedicated to my Nan.  I hope she is proud of it and me.  She was a mad crafter – knitting was her thing – and so I think she would have liked seeing all the things I make.  One of my favourite memories of her was when she asked me to help her make my Mum a medal.  It still makes my Mum and I teary, even now.  This little tin-foil-covered cardboard medal, with Nan’s writing on it, saying thank you for everything Mum did for her.  That says LOVE right there.  It couldn’t be more valuable if it was made from solid gold.

Have a good day everyone.