Procrastination, I am Your Queen

Procrastination, I am Your Queen

I wasted today.  Which is better than saying “I AM wasted today”, I suppose.  However, it is still bad.  I am too old to be wasting time.  Frittering it away.  Getting distracted (in fact, as an example, I am now thinking about fritters).  Doing nothing when I should be doing something.  Or, doing something but it is a something that is basically nothing in the guise of something, you know?  Come Sunday evening, I am wracked with the guilt of procrastination and time wasted.

I promised myself I would ACHIEVE this weekend.  I would write lists and tick them off.  But all I succeeded in doing was ticking myself off with my inability to actually do anything.  The worst part is, I didn’t sit around much at all.  I am not a sitter.  I am always very busy.  VERY busy.  Doing nothing much at all.

I usually find I become very motivated, around about 4 o’clock in the afternoon on a Sunday, when I suddenly realise that I have to go back to work tomorrow and I have had two days off where I could have, y’know, started that best-selling novel, created a Fortune-500 company, built a house or ended third world debt.  I have high hopes for my weekends, but they often don’t pan out.  Basically, because I myself fizzle out.

Now, I must admit, I am having trouble dealing with anything at the moment.  I am weaning myself off my anti-depressants and I am finding it harder than I thought I would.  Harder than I have let anyone around me know. I thought “Oh, it’s been two and a half years, I can come off them now! Piece of cake!”  but it’s been a little trickier than that.  And there was no cake.  But, there’s been crying.  Lots of crying.  I’ve done that super ugly, blubbering kind of crying.  I’ve yelled at people.  I’ve had nightmares.  I’ve been hyper and chatty one minute and then morose and downright jump-off-a-cliff depressed the next.  But I persevere because I have to do it and I don’t want to be on this medication forever.  And before you ask, yes this is being medically supervised and I am being sensible.  It’s just that I am 41 years old and I need to be able to manage things and not hide behind a little happy pill.  Plus, I need to cry every now and then.  It’s a natural state for me and NOT doing it is weird.  I just needed them to get me over the marriage-breaking-down hump and now I have to come back into the real world again.

Which has left me a little bit blue.  Because the real world is a bit shit, to be honest.  Pardon my language.  People are mean and stuff is hard.  So I get bogged down in the mean and the hard.  I find it difficult to get up in the mornings, not just because I don’t want to go to work, but because I am actually sad.  Mostly because I don’t want to go to work but also because I am floundering a little bit.  I’m going through one of those “Who am I and what am I for?” stages.  Which I probably should have gone through at age 18 or something but I was too busy being terrified of the world to even contemplate that I had some sort of place in it.  In some ways, it is worse going through it now because I have less time to figure things out.

Which brings me back to wasting time.  Some people are happy to waste time and don’t see it as actually WASTING TIME.  People think the weekends are for chilling out and lazing about, watching TV and sitting around.  I don’t.  I always feel like I should be doing something constructive or at least making plans that would lead in that direction.  More lists.  Lists that will have ticks against them.  So that when people ask (on Monday morning) “Hey, what did you get up to on the weekend?”, I can say, smugly, “Oh, I rendered the house, put in reticulation, baked 400 muffins for the local homeless shelter, adopted a litter of kittens, ran a marathon, painted my fence and knitted a tea cosy……” instead of answering “Um…not much.  I did some ironing.”  And let’s face it, even ironing is probably not happening in my house most weeks.  Or months, to be fair.  Do I even HAVE an iron?….

I wanted to create things this weekend.  I wanted to have lots of blog posts ready and waiting to be written.  I wanted to have projects on the go.  I wanted to actually have some crafts on here, which would be nice, considering this is supposed to be a crafty kind of blog.

So, what did I achieve this weekend?  Well, I caught up with my best friend, whom I haven’t seen since JULY (holy crap, that is three months ago!) and we set the world to rights and talked up a storm.  I visited my Aunt.  I visited my cousin and nieces.  I went shopping for new bras (to go with the new boobs).  I bought a pineapple/green apple/broccoli/mint drink which was SO DELICIOUS I bought another one today.  I saw a movie with a friend and felt confused by it.  I felt horribly guilty for saying no to said friend when she asked me to dog-sit for her over Christmas.  I went to see my Mum.  I pruned my garden and all the courtyards around my house, weeded and swept up leaves and junk in my yard.  I dyed my hair so I no longer look like rapidly-ageing hag woman.  I went to a little charity fete in my street and bought some more books.  I tried eye-liner for the first time and decided I quite liked it.

So I did SOME things.  I guess.  And seeing friends and family is certainly not NOTHING.  It’s actually very important. And nice. And soul-reparing.  But now it is evening and I have to make dinner and get stuff ready for work tomorrow. But I wanted to make cards.  That didn’t happen.  I wanted to do some drawing.  That didn’t happen.  I wanted to tidy my craft room.  That certainly didn’t happen and, frankly, I was kidding myself that it would.  I wanted to write in my journal and finish off a collage I have been working on (well, “working on” is an overstatement…). None of those things occurred.

So, I guess I have to try again next weekend.  I will write proper lists and endeavour to stick them (and not lose them).  I will not be distracted by whatever it is that normally distracts me (usually involves tea or facebook or cheese) and I will achieve THINGS.  Or, at least try to.  Because time is running out.  And I do not want to leave just a carbon footprint behind.  I want to have been here for some sort of reason and purpose.  Even if that purpose amounts to nothing more than writing a blog post on schedule, with actual useful stuff in it.

What do you hope to achieve on your weekends?  Are you a procrastinator?  Do you get distracted by things and wander off target, like me?  Do you even have a target?  How do you stay on target (if you do)?  How do you gauge your achievements or do you simply think it’s enough to have gotten dressed every day?

Hope your weekend was exactly as you wanted it to be – busy, lazy, crazy, chilled or fulfilling, whatever makes you feel happy and content and not guilty 🙂

A Sentence a Day

A Sentence a Day

For Christmas, my best friend CG gave me a sort-of journal, titled “A Sentence a Day”.  As the title suggests, it has daily prompts for journaling your year (designed to show two years’ worth of entries so you can look back and see how you changed or stayed the same over that period) and encourage self-reflection.  It’s really a book for younger people (I discovered this on one page as the prompt for the day was “What did you do at school today?) but I’ve been happily filling in the pages and have enjoyed having that extra “push” to prompt me into writing.  I’ve been a bit hopeless lately (as would be obvious by the lack of blogging I have done over the last month or so) and so it’s been helpful having the little book to look forward to each day.

So, because I am literally out of ideas this week, and because my house is spotlessly clean and tidy (miracle of miracles!) – I don’t want to mess it up, not even for crafting! – I’m going to take a few of the prompts from the book and write my responses here.  Feel free to do the same on your blog (if you have one) or in your diary or wherever.  It’s cheating, ever so slightly, but I am completely inspiration-less this week.  I hope my mojo comes back soon, otherwise I’m in trouble.

So here goes – I’m just going to flick through the pages and choose random prompts…

  1. How do you feel about speaking in front of people?  Horrible!  Petrified, self-conscious and suddenly devoid of all thought and intelligence!
  2. Who is the funniest person you know?  Definitely my brother 🙂
  3. What’s your favourite sea creature?  Can I say a mermaid? 🙂  I think seahorses are amazing and beautiful but I also love whales, dolphins, seals and stingrays.  Ooh, and those creepy Vampire Squids!  They’re awesome!
  4. Do you have any bad habits?  God, where do I start?!  I chew my fingers and pick at them.  It’s disgusting.  I’m a teeth-grinder and a tongue-sucker (in my sleep).  Various unladylike habits.  All anxiety related, but bad habits nevertheless.  I used to suck my thumb when I was a child.  Then I got braces and couldn’t do it any more!
  5. What is unforgivable?  Child abuse and abuse of animals.
  6. What was the last time you saw a movie at the cinema?  What was it?  Last night!  I saw “St Vincent” with my work friend CI.  Excellent movie, great evening. We had dinner out (no dessert – good girls!) and chatted and enjoyed a great movie starring the amazing Bill Murray.  He’s a favourite of mine.
  7. What’s your favourite flower?  Violets, obviously! 🙂
  8. Describe how your house is decorated : My home has no definite style.  I am a bit schizophrenic in my decorating tastes.  I like bright colours but then I also like white and shabby-chic.  So I have a bit of everything.  I’m only renting so I can’t paint walls or do to much to the house in terms of decorating or changing any structures.  I like to have “pockets” of themes or colour palettes.  Each of my bookshelves has a different “vibe” going on.

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  1. What do you like most about your own personality?  I think I’m quite kind.  I try to be anyway.
  2. What does your dream house look like?  Cute.  I’ve always wanted a cute little house with a white picket fence, a pretty garden, and a warm and welcoming feel to it.  I’d like a porch with a rocking chair on it.  I’d like to be near the ocean and have room for animals.  I’d like an upstairs section (even if it’s just one little room) and a pretty guest room so visitors could stay the night.
  3. Describe your hairstyle : Slightly mental and uncooperative.  I have thick, unruly hair which I have grown to be grateful for.  I don’t try and tame it these days – it does its own thing and I do mine.  We agree to meet somewhere in the middle 🙂

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I have promised myself I will get better at blogging this year, so hopefully won’t need the little book to help me too many times throughout the coming months.  I’m enjoying my nice tidy home right now and so I am trying to hold of from doing anything crafty or mess-making.  I’m not very good at relaxing and doing nothing so I am finding it hard to know what to do if I’m not busy being busy.  I’ve even considered doing some ironing today which just shows I am getting desperate!

Hope your New Year is going well and shaping up to be the best year yet.  There is so much uncertainty and fear in the world right now – I can only hope that your own little corner is peaceful and happy.

Thanks for dropping by x

Quick Santa Idea (Kate’s Creative Space)

Quick Santa Idea (Kate’s Creative Space)

Happy Monday!  This afternoon I found this simple little idea for making quick Christmas cards or gift tags, bags or anything else you can think of that needs a Santa on it!  I take no credit for it whatsoever – it comes from the wonderful Kate of Kate’s Creative Space, a blog I follow closely (because it is awesome) and am always inspired by.  These little Santas are so simple to make and take only a few minutes and just a few scraps of card and paper.  I’ve made a bundle of them (what IS the collective term for a group of Santas?) whilst watching Seinfeld tonight ( I never tire of that show, no matter how many times I’ve seen the episodes).  So cute! So easy! (the Santas…not Seinfeld)  They’re just the ticket when you’ve run out of inspiration and time (which is me, most days).  Check out Kate’s amazing blog – there are so many ideas and tutorials on it, you’ll be spoilt for choice (and more than just a little bit jealous of her creative talent!).  Some people are just so clever!

🙂

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Blogs to Love

Blogs to Love

In my last post I vowed to fulfil my duty as a nominated “Inspiring Blogger” and nominate 15 other bloggers for the same award.  I have said before that I am not much of a ‘net-surfer.  I don’t sit for hours in front of the computer looking at blogs and Pinterest and all the other wonderful things on the internet.  I don’t have time and I have issues with my neck and back so I’m more of a sit-down-and-do-what-I-have-to-and-get-out kind of person.  I stare at a computer screen for most of my day at work so I don’t really want to do it when I get home, so I limit my time doing it at all after work.  That’s not to say I haven’t discovered lots and lots of lovely blogs.  I have.  So here’s a few that I feel inspired by or cheered by or made jealous by.  There’s a couple that just make me laugh.  I’ve included video bloggers too – not sure if that’s allowed but I figure in this day and age, everybody is welcome.

The Feathered Nest   Oh such pretty, pretty things!  And you know I love anything with birds or speckled eggs…

Eat Drink Chic  More pretty things and foody things and things I want to make.  There’s some lovely wooden bunting on here I want to steal the idea from…

A Story Of    I recently attended a mini-market with some friends and A Story Of had lots of lovely things on display.  I was supposed to blog about it but my camera didn’t perform very well and the pictures were no good.  And I’m lazy.  So apologies to Candice whom I talked to on the night and promised to “spread the word” about her gorgeous goodies.  I am a bad blogger *slaps wrist*.  I can make up for it now.  Go to the website and check out all the cool stuff Candice makes including hand-painted creatures (owls, deer, bunnies) on vintage china, embroidery and jewellery.  I did get one photo that night that turned out ok.  Look at these adorable mittens!

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Someone else snapped these up before I could get my butt into gear and nab them for myself.  Candice also promotes and supports Fair Trade organisations and other worthy causes so you should definitely stop by her blog and learn all about her and her work with women in places like Thailand and India, helping them to build lives for themselves.  I’m not explaining it very well so you should just visit her website already!  She’s doing good work 🙂

Something Special   I have been buying perfumes from Something Special for years.  They are just so yummy smelling and I always get compliments on what I am wearing.  My favourite one is “Butt Naked” which is a dreadful name but smells deeeee-lightful.  I wear it all the time.  The products are not tested on animals which is a huge selling point for me – it is so hard to get cosmetics or perfumes that are cruelty free these days.  But I don’t want to be stinky.  So I buy these perfumes.  They have literally a bazillion different scents and you can buy teeny little sample bottles to try them first.  Two thumbs up.

 Grav3yard Girl    Bunny makes me laugh.  A lot.  Plus she goes thrift shopping all the time (my favourite thing to do when I’m not crafting) and she just has a unique outlook on life.  She’s a bit crazy but heck, who isn’t?  Check her out.

Kate’s Creative Space  Lovely, lovely things and inspiring ideas!

Lia Griffith  Printables and more

Tilda’s World  If you don’t know about Tilda Finnanger, where have you been?  Her fabrics and papers and STUFF are just gorgeous.  My Mum is in love her with I think.

La Belle Brocante  I think I may have mentioned this one before…so I’m cheating and adding it to this list because I can’t find where I linked to it before!  Lovely stuff on here…

CreartfulDodger  Every time I visit this blog I want to curl up inside it and stay forever.  Just wonderfully inspiring collages and vintage-inspired artwork and mixed media pieces.  Love, love, love!

There, how many is that?  I think I failed the “Nominate Fifteen Bloggers” bit of the rules.  Oh well.  I hope you do have a look at some of these blogs, websites and vlogs and feel inspired.  Or that they just make you smile or laugh or whatever.  It’s all good.

Now it’s freezing cold and I need tea and I should get in my PJs (I’ve just come home from my evening walk and it’s nearly 7pm and I’m still dressed!  What?!!).  Hope you’ve all had a good day – mine was hectic and busy with lots of little jobs to get finished and horrible traffic to wade through.  Time for dinner and some catchin’ up with the hubby.  Have a great evening 🙂

Paper Flag Wreath

Paper Flag Wreath

With not much time to do any crafting at all this last fortnight and, also, having little motivation to do anything other than sleep and be still and sad by myself, I was struggling to get anything else finished for a design team project.  I was coming up blank as far as ideas go and I didn’t want to just hand in another batch of cards.  So, one day at work, during an extremely dull desk shift, I explored the various craft blogs available on the ‘net for inspiration.  I struck gold with One Pretty Thing.  If you haven’t checked it out before, do yourself a favour and have a look.  It lists hundreds of DIY craft tutorials from lots of different craft sites and blogs.  Very easy to navigate through and I found sooooo many things I wanna make when I have some free time.

I came across a beautiful Christmas wreath decorated with paper “flags” at The Hybrid Chick.  I decided that was just the inspiration I needed to use up the papers I had left from my latest design team pack and to make something pretty and easy to make.  I won’t give the steps in detail here as I would encourage you to go to the blogs mentioned but, basically, it’s just a case of cutting out lots of little flags with a “v” shaped end and gluing them to a wreath.  I also distressed the edges with a bit of ink and also rubbed some glitter glue over the completed piece.  I don’t know why I am using glitter a lot all of a sudden – normally I can’t stand it…but I’m only applying little amounts and it is coming up to Christmas after all…  I was quite pleased with the finished project – at least I have something else to hand in now.

 

And where did I find my little wreath to start with?  Aha!  Well, yet another lovely blog gave me the directions for making my own paper wreath!  Yes, indeedy, I made my own little paper wreath with simple instructions from Michele Made Me.  I had a strip of brown paper, wetted it, folded in the raw edges and then twisted the paper carefully, wrapping it around a cup as I went and then folding the ends under.  Then I microwaved it for two minutes on high and voila! a lovely little wreath that is surprisingly strong and sturdy for this kind of craft.  I’m always so happy when something works out, first go.  Please go to Michele’s site for full instructions.

So I think I’m done for this month’s design team requirements.  I’ve been so busy with helping Mum sort out the house ready for moving and I’ve had a stay in hospital myself (nothing terrible but still took up valuable time!) and of course there’s pesky work.  So I haven’t done a lot of crafting but at least I’ve done something.  My craft room once again looks like something exploded in there but I’ll try and get that tidied up for the weekend.

Hope your weekend is happy and relaxing (or exciting and fast-paced if you prefer it that way!)  Please do visit the blogs/sites mentioned – they’re pretty cool 🙂

 

Leibster Blog Award

Leibster Blog Award

I’m very lucky to have been nominated for the Leibster Blog Award by Shitij Bagga of Confessions of a Disquisitive Writer and geekybooksnob of (strangely enough) The Geeky Book Snob .  Nice!  The award is for bloggers who have less than 200 followers (which is certainly me!) and there are a few “rules” if one is to accept the award.  I must admit, I received the first nomination some time ago and have been a bit slack about doing anything about it.  So here goes…

The rules seem to differ slightly from blog to blog but the main ones are :

1) Thank the person who nominated you 
2) Answer the 11 questions they have asked of you.
3) Nominate 11 bloggers for the same award.

So, firstly, thank you to my “nominators” mentioned above.  It’s nice to be read, thank you!

Secondly, answering 11 questions about myself:

Q1. What is your favourite book of all time?

Hmmm, too hard to answer and we don’t have all night.  If you want a long answer go to this entry where I’ve talked about my fave books before (yes, I know I’m cheating!).

Q2. Which is your favourite post from your own blog till date and why?

Ummm, gosh.  I think I’m still learning and trying to write anything so I’m not hugely impressed with any of my posts.  But I’m getting there.  I quite liked Ten Random Things and Dumb Things  though.

Q3. You’re meeting your girlfriend/boyfriend’s parents for the first time. What do you say or do to break the ice?

I just try really hard not to break stuff.

Q4. You are 100% free from work and other shackles for today. How would you like to spend your day? (in couple of sentences at most)

Reading.  Crafting.  And if “shackles” also includes a non-beach-ready body, I would also like to spend some time at the beach.

Q5. Have you ever read a book that challenged your intellect? Which one and how was it challenging?

Edward de Bono’s “Six Thinking Hats”.  It hurt my brain.  Also, Alain de Botton’s “Religion for Atheists”.  It hurt my brain too.  But it made me remember why I’m not a church goer.

Q6. Mention one of your obsessive compulsive habits that you’ve ever had. (like climbing stairs two steps at a time.. come on, everybody HAS something)

Where do I start?  I have quite a few little secret OCD things I do.  I have to have the tags on towels facing away from me when I hang them up.  Also, I need to count things 4 times.  I have to have pegs matching when I hang out the laundry.  That’s weird, isn’t it?

Q7. One thing that you have always been really good at.

Spelling (please don’t go and find any mistakes in here – that would be devastating).  Also, gift-giving.  I give awesome gifts!

Q8. One thing that you have always been really bad at.

Phew, that would be a l-o-o-o-o-o-o-n-g list.  Anything where I have to do it in front of other people ie dancing, public speaking.  Also, sport.  Of any kind.

Q9. What did you want to become when you were little and what have you become? Is it the same?

I wanted to be a writer or a singer.  I can’t sing so I may have to stick to writing.  And that ain’t going so well either so I may have to come up with someone else altogether.  I also wanted to be a fairy or a “good” witch so there’s that as a back-up plan.

Q10. One thing that you would love to procrastinate forever, if it was so possible.

Hmmmm, I might have to get back to you on that one….

Q11. Favourite age at which you could go back and live it again.

Four.  Four was a cool age.  1978 was a pretty good year.  I wore flares.  I had a womble t-shirt.  I was kicking butt in the finger-painting stakes at kindy.  Also, I could run around in just my underpants and no one cared.

So now I have to nominate 11 bloggers for this award…(it might be less than 11 because I’m tired and want to get this finished…again, cheating):

….Ok, on second thoughts maybe I can’t do this bit.  Maybe I have to decline the generous nominations.  It’s just that all the bloggers I really like have more than 200 followers.  They generally have, like, a million.  Can I come back to this bit?  I hope so.  I will, I promise…it’s just that I don’t want to nominate people just for the sake of it…that seems disingenuous so can I just nominate ones I like, regardless of number of followers?  Cool beans.  Here goes :

Happy People Happy Homes

Polly’s Paper Studio

Ideas for a Writer

Speckled Egg

52 Flea

Vintage Wanna Bee

Thrift Shopper for Peace

Treasures from the Heart

Crow’s Feet Chic

Words and Herbs

Oh Joy!

So there you are.  I didn’t really complete all the criteria properly but as the Leibster Award is for newbies, I hope I’ll be let off.  Thanks again to those that were kind enough to nominate me.  Check out some of the blogs I’ve listed and share the bloggy love…