I don’t even know what to say. The 2016 US Presidential Election is…I mean, what can I say? I don’t want to get into a political debate, because there will be people who actually are glad the way things ended up, and are happy Mr Trump won but, seriously, I am dumbfounded. I don’t think I have ever used the word “dumbfounded” in my life before, but no other word sums up what I am feeling right now.
I’ve never worried too much about US politics before, but this year I am terrified. And kinda angry. And just really, really confused. What the heck happened?
That’s all I’m going to say.
“…Sometimes I just want space to be me
But then I remember I don’t know who “me” is
And any space I have is filled with the unknowing
And the questions about what I should be doing
And if I should replace the “Should” with a “Could”
And if I have always been wrong and always will be
And if everyone knows my secrets
or if my secrets are hidden away and will never be discovered
and will die with me, alone and unknown
Sometimes I want to disappear
But then I remember my footprints on this Earth are forever
The damage is already done and I can’t be forgotten, at least by the Earth
But to the others I am already a memory
And a fading one at that
Because I didn’t do what I was supposed to do and try harder to be the same
And all the others
who succeeded where I had failed
Sometimes I want to stand out
But then I remember standing out means you are different
And different is not always a happy place
Even if it is an authentic place
And a place to lay your soul
When it is tired of being hungry and having to fight with itself
About things that should be easy or not there at all
Sometimes I want to be still
But then I remember I have to keep moving
In case the truth catches up with me and it’s too much to take in
Like a hurricane in a teacup
But the moving gets harder and I end up running on the spot
While everyone passes by me
Unconcerned by the diminishing space I am taking up
As I burrow into the ground, a whirlpool at my feet…”
There are many things I can comprehend. Well, not many, but at least a few. There are, however, lots of things I do not understand, such as :
- Rainfall : the measurement of – I do not understand when the weather people say we have had 13mm of rain. I don’t get it. 13mm doesn’t sound like much. Is it per square inch or square metre or something? I can’t wrap my brain around this. I know I could look it up but I can’t be bothered. I prefer a little mystery in my life.
- Kim and Kanye – why are we still talking about them? Why am I even talking about them? What are they for? What purpose do they serve? I do, however, think they are the most perfect pairing in the Universe. Never before have two human beings been so exquisitely matched. They are the first people in history to marry their own selves. That is quite an achievement, you have to admit.
- Aeroplanes – I know there is science and physics and stuff involved, but I can’t think about them up in there in the sky without hurting my brain. How do they stay up there? Aren’t they, y’know, heavy? Sometimes I think it’s magic. Yes, that’s it, it’s magic. So, shhhh, clap your hands and believe. Don’t break the spell. Especially if I am flying somewhere at the time.
- I don’t deal well with flat-pack furniture. I can’t understand the instructions (which, let’s face it, are generally in a foreign language, even if they’re technically written in English) and I always end up with extra bits and pieces. I also swear a lot. Sometimes I cry whilst swearing and curse the fact this shelving unit/cabinet/bed frame has come straight from the devil and has obviously been sent to drive me insane.
- Putting on quilt covers – actually, I just figured this one out this week so, technically, it is now something I do understand. Putting a quilt cover on has always been something I do not do well. In fact, it is something that literally reduces me to tears in a very short space of time. So, generally, I just don’t do it at all. However, after seeing this amazing video on Youtube, I am now able to change a quilt cover in mere minutes, seconds even if I practice lots. It has been a revelation to me. I am one step closer to being an adult. I might have to make the bed more now though…
- Maths – pretty sure maths is some sort of devilry. And algebra is like the high-priestess of evil. As soon as you put letters and little tiny numbers next to bigger numbers and start asking why X = 5, you’ve lost me. I literally lose all sense of time and black out just a little bit. Ask me how to work out 30% off in a sale and I am your girl, though.
- Sewing – My Mum recently showed me how to take up / hem my own pants. It was a triumph (for me) but somewhat of a traumatic experience for my Mum. I think she needed a lie-down afterwards. Possibly something alcoholic. Sewing is a very technical thing and requires precision. I am not precise in anything I do, therefore failure in anything haberdashery-esque is guaranteed. But I do have several pairs of pants I can walk around in now without treading on the hems.
- Tax – The Australian Taxation Office hates me. I earn a very basic wage, not substantial by anyone’s definition. I have enough and am grateful for that. The ATO, however, considers my wages to be EXTRAVAGANT in the extreme, and taxes me accordingly. Every. Year. I get screwed. I have been putting off doing this year’s tax return because I know it will result in a big bill and I can’t cope with that right now. Next year will be different because I will have less savings (hello mortgage!) so maybe they will see me as less wealthy and take pity on me. I am also easily confused by the tax return itself. If you’ve ever seen that episode of Black Books, where Bernard is attempting to do his tax return, you will know what I mean. Again, there is swearing and possibly tears. It’s probably because there is maths involved.
- Water – I try to understand the chemical composition and how it makes water, but then I develop a migraine and have to go away and sit in a dark room. Plus how is it clear? Who made that a thing? Every child in the history of the world, when they are colouring in a picture of a glass of water, colours it blue. This is fact. Then water falls from the sky and someone tries to measure it and then I get confused again. It’s all too hard. If it was cheese I would understand it. Cheese doesn’t confuse me.
- Why people can’t fill the kettle at work – This is my ultimate frustration. I fill the kettle about five or six times a day. AT LEAST. Considering there are only a handful of us at work now (thank you, funding cuts!), I do not understand why this is happening. I drink a lot of tea so I use the kettle a lot, but I always make sure I leave water in it for the next person. I do not empty the kettle and then leave it like that. It drives me bananas. I have even written notes and put up posters that say “Please refill kettle after use!” but still, the kettle is always empty and sad. It’s so rude! I just want to slap people on a regular basis. Don’t get me started on the people who leave a teaspoon of milk in the carton and put it back in the fridge. What is that about??? What kind of primitive society are we living in???
There are many, many other things in the world that confuse me (Donald Trump, I am talking to you!) but I’m sure you don’t need to hear about them all. I just needed something to write about while my craft output is lacking. And, also, the kettle thing seriously drives me insane. It might lead to a breakdown. I’m not even kidding.
Hope your day is making sense to you. Thanks for popping by 🙂
Sorry for lack of posting. Stuff has been happening in my life – well, mostly in other’s lives but I’m kinda in the middle of things because I have to worry and get involved and try to fix things. This one thing can’t be fixed and I don’t know how to to be ok with that. Someone I know and love has done the wrong thing. A very wrong thing and I don’t know if, because I am supporting that person, I am, by association “bad” too. I don’t even think she’s “bad” but I feel horrible. I just don’t know what else to do. I can’t abandon people just people they have screwed up.
So, I apologise again for not posting. I’m just dealing with stuff. Be patient with me and forgiving x