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Taking Stock in May

Aggghhhhhh.  I had written a fairly long post here and it JUST DISAPPEARED. [insert swear word here].  I don’t know what happened.  It was there – and then it wasn’t.  So annoying!  I have no idea what I even wrote.  So I have to start again.  Sigh.  And, of course, what I wrote before would have been BRILLIANT to the point of being genius.  Now whatever I write will be rubbish!  Double sigh.

Anyway, moving on… What I had been saying, before I was rudely interrupted by computer tomfoolery, was that one of my favourite blogs is Meet Me at Mike’s, created by the very talented Pip Lincolne.  It’s a great little blog, with lots if inspirational ideas and good stuff.  In fact, the blog’s tagline is “Good Stuff for Nice People”.

One of the regular things Pip does is have a “Taking Stock” post, where she lists the things she is doing that month (or week, or whatever), the things that are inspiring her and the every day stuff that is making her world go ’round.  She’s even kind enough to have a prompting list you can copy and paste.  And you know I am lazy and need that kind of help in my life.  I pretty much wish that life could be one long list that someone else writes for you, and you just have to fill in the blanks.  Even better if they let you fill in the answers with a pencil.  That way, if you make a boo-boo, you can erase it and start again.  I’d probably go through a lot of erasers.

So, my “Taking Stock” list for May…

Making : A mess.  Always.
Cooking : Lots of comfort food.  It’s cold and I am sick of eating salad.  So, soups and polenta and porridge are the go.  I am trying to avoid making cookies…sigh.
Drinking :  Tea.  Always tea.  But a lot of Passionfruit and Hibiscus tea.  Because it is      delightful.  I don’t normally do “fruity” teas.  They smell wonderful but taste pretty insipid.  Like watered-down cordial.  But this tea is fab.  It does, unfortunately, smell a little bit like cat pee.  But it tastes delicious.  You should try it.
Reading : I just finished “The Good Mayor” by Andrew Nicoll.  It’s bloody delightful.  One of the reviews describes it as a book that “makes you want to go out and fall in love” and, indeed, that is very true.  I don’t read romance novels (AT ALL) because – hello! – I’m bitter and twisted, but this one is different. It’s quirky and funny and heartbreaking and, oh, just read it already!  I couldn’t put it down.  You won’t be able to either.
Trawling : Job sites, sadly.  Times are a-changing.
Wanting : A steamer for my clothes.  I know – pathetic.  But some of my clothes are very tricky to iron and I don’t end up wearing them much because I dread the inevitable crease-fest.
Looking : Home-decorating books and magazines and websites.  My house does not reflect this, but one day it shall.  Oh yes!
Deciding : Whether I should get rid of my bead / jewellery-making stash.  I need to de-clutter and figure out exactly what I want to do, craft-wise.  But I know that as soon as I get rid of it all, I will need/want it.  Such is the life of a hoarder…
Wishing : I could win the Lottery.  The big one.  The one where I could buy my family and friends houses and set everyone up for life.  Money can’t buy happiness but it can go a long way towards taking some worry and stress away.
Enjoying : My guilty pleasure is Catfish.  The TV show, not the actual fish.
Waiting : For a family announcement.
Liking : Hiking.  Ooh, that rhymed!  I am very unfit and hurt for days afterwards, but I do enjoy getting out and walking in the sunshine and fresh air.  Exercise doesn’t have to suck.  I’m not going to be scaling Mount Everest any time soon, but I am liking trekking around our local landscape.
Wondering : Why I am like I am.  But I cannot afford more therapy so I will have to figure it out on my own or just quit wondering.  Embrace the weirdo that is me!
Loving : My family and friends.  I am so blessed.  A lot of people have come into my life that I am so grateful for.
Pondering : Life, The Universe, and Everything.  And also why I can’t stop thinking about food for three whole seconds.
Considering : Taking up yoga.
Buying : Home maintenance stuff.  My house is falling to pieces.
Watching : I’m a bit obsessed with Russel Brand this month.  So I am re-watching a bunch of his DVDs.  I mean DVDs with him in it.  I don’t mean I broke into his house and stole a load of his personal DVDs and then watched them.  That would be weird.
Hoping : That things will be ok.
Marvelling : At how beautiful, wise and loving my nephews and nieces are.  They never cease to amaze me, and give me hope for the future.
Cringing : At how much Income Protection insurance costs.  When you have pre-existing conditions, you basically have to pay double what everyone else does.  So I get to have a kidney problem, mental heath issues AND a huge insurance fee.  Awesome.  Two thumbs up.  As soon as I decide to drop the insurance, I know I will get hit by a car or attacked by killer bees or something.
Needing : Better exercise clothes.  I tend to do the baggy-pants-and-baggy-t-shirt combo and I generally look like a bag lady.  A sweaty, wheezy bag lady.  I am not confident enough to wear the tight, workout gear everyone has these days.  But I should probably try to be – it would give me more incentive to actually get my butt into gear.  So I can get my butt into the trendy gear, so to speak and look less homeless.
Questioning : My life.  What the heck am I doing with it???
Smelling : The lack of perfume on me.  I have run out of my favourite scent – “Butt Naked” by Somethin Special.  Terrible name but I love the smell of this perfume oil.  I always get complimented on it and it’s just a happy, yummy scent. It’s got top notes of strawberry, cherry and coconut, which is just delightful.  Plus it is not tested on animals, which makes me very happy indeed.
Wearing : Warmer clothes.  And Pants.  Ugh.  I hate pants (trousers, slacks, jeans).  I did just buy some cropped, linen pants which I actually don’t hate.  They are very comfortable and I don’t feel like a lumpy, dumpy sausage in them.  In fact I feel rather nautical.  If I wear them with a blue and white stripey sweater, I feel downright jaunty!
Noticing : How people don’t say “Bless You” when you sneeze anymore.  It’s so rude.  I just say “Bless Me” when I sneeze now.  Cuts out the middle man.
Knowing : I have a LONG way to go before I am an adult.
Thinking : Way too much.  But not about the right stuff.
Admiring : Sarah Michelle Gellar.  She just seems like a decent human being.  A great Mum, and wife, and she doesn’t get caught up in all the celebrity nonsense.  Plus, y’know, Buffy kicks arse!
Getting : Lots of bills.  Man, they are all coming at once!  Pretending they are not there does not help.
Feeling : Anxious.  Lots going on.
Hearing : At the moment I have Tears for Fears’ “Head Over Heels” in my head. Constantly.  That’s probably because I keep playing it. Constantly.  Don’t judge me – it’s a good song.  I miss the 80s.
Embracing : Wearing glasses.  I am trying really hard to remember to wear them.  Most of the time they end up on my head, like a hair band, rather than on my face.  But I’m trying…

So that’s me for the month.  Lots happening and lots to think about and worry about.  What are you up to in May?  Any big plans for change or transformation?

Thanks for dropping by – and DO check out Pip Lincolne’s great blog, Meet Me at Mike’s – you’ll get lots of inspiration and ideas 🙂

 x

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Drawing a Line in the Sand (NYE)

Drawing a Line in the Sand (NYE)

Normally, given the opportunity, I stay at home on New Year’s Eve.  I like to reflect and think about what has been, as well as what MIGHT be if I can get my act together in the coming months.  I don’t mind being on my own and so it isn’t a sad evening for me.  It is one of contemplation and a last minute chance to eat naughty food before the obligatory New Year diet kicks in 🙂

This year, however, I ended up being part of someone else’s plan.  My cousin wanted company and I was happy to oblige.  She’s going through some tough stuff right now and wanted someone to be part of her New Year pledge to herself to do better and be healthier and stronger and emotionally fitter.  She wanted to literally draw a line in the sand and say “No more”.  I could do with some of that myself so I happily agreed to be part of her night.

We went to the beach in Fremantle and drew an actual line in the sand, before stepping over it and wishing each other strength and love.  Sometimes you have to make the big gestures to kick-start your healing and motivation.  Plus, now we have photographic evidence so, y’know, we have to stick to our promises, right?

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The evening was warm and balmy with a sea breeze that messed up our hair but not our plans 🙂

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The ocean, for me, signifies so much, and so it was apt that we spent the last day of 2015 there, with our toes in the sand and the waves crashing around us.  The tide is changing for us both, I hope.

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My cousin and I have grown up together, grown older together and been through many ups and downs.  We’ve both made mistakes, big and small, but we always support each other.  I know I can trust her to always have my back and always believe in me.  I hope she knows I will do the same for her.  We know too much about one another to ever be enemies – it wouldn’t be safe ha ha.

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So, with the sun setting on the old year, we heralded in the new one, with hope and love and good intentions, and with forgiveness for past mistakes.

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I hope you had someone special to share New Year’s with, whether it be an old friend, a new love, your dog or your own good self.  And I hope you got in some last minute naughty foods 🙂

Be kind to yourself in 2016 – be forgiving and let go of mistakes, bad decisions and questionable life choices.  Every day is another chance to get things right and do better.  All we can do is try x

Decisions, decisions…

Decisions, decisions…

I am in the process of deciding to cut my hair or not cut my hair.  This may not seem like a big decision to most normal people, but I am in a quandary with no end in sight.  I generally go from long hair to quite short hair, nothing in between.  I usually cut it short (in a chin length bob) and then like it for a little while (generally while I’m still in the hairdresser’s and they are styling it and making it look all shiny and chic) and then hate it and want my hair back again.

This is a first world problem, I know.  There are people worrying about their next meal or if bombs are going to drop on their family and I am worried about whether my hair looks better long or short.  Crazy.  But I am female, insecure and terribly bad at making decisions.  I don’t know what suits me.  I feel more like a girl with long hair, but then I think, am I, at age 39-almost-40, too old for long hair?  The fact that I have a decidedly un-girlish grey streak in the front of my hair is also a problem.  It gives me away and I wish I was better at hiding it but I can never find hair dye that’s not tested on animals and so I go for much longer than I should without dyeing it.

Also, styling is a problem.  I appear to lack the gene which enables you to style your own hair.  I can do pony tails and down-with-a-head-band and that’s about my range.  I also do the “pouffy” fringe thing but even that is a stretch most days.  I just suck at doing anything to do with appearance.  Makeup – fail.  Hair – fail.  Fashion – fail.  It is quite sad.  I actually don’t care most of the time because I don’t like to wear what everyone else is wearing and fashion generally seems to be trends and colours I can’t wear.  Makeup – doesn’t worry me too much because I have ok skin and prefer to be fairly natural looking anyway (although I do long to be able to do those cats-eye eye liner jobs), but hair, sigh, hair…I wish I could make it look nice.  I gave up a long time ago on trying to tame it.  I am lucky I have thick healthy hair so I am not complaining about it, just my complete and utter lack of ability to style it.  I want to look like I didn’t come to work via a hedge (ie being dragged through one) and I’d like to be able to do all those fancy plaits and braids and cool stuff.  But I am a klutzoid, even with hair.

So, my question is, dear reader, which is better – long or short-ish hair?  Which is more appropriate for someone my age?  Do such things even matter?  Oh I know it’s petty and unimportant in the scheme of things, but at this difficult time in my life I am looking to insignificant problems to distract me from the real issues I am facing.  Distress about husband leaving?  I don’t have time for that!  I have follicular challenges that are far more pressing and urgent!  Worried about paying rent on my own? Pah! I have more important issues to concern me, like can I afford a hairdresser?!  See what I mean?

I am going to get it cut.  I am.  But it’s kind of like a security blanket (seriously, it is very thick.  Plus I shed everywhere.  It looks like someone shot a sasquatch in here some days – hair all over the place…little tumbleweeds of it clogging up the hoover…) and I need to feel feminine at a time when I am not feeling exactly attractive or desirable to the opposite sex.  It’s dumb.  I do know that but I am a fragile little thing and my hair is my…what? I don’t know.  But it’s there and I kinda hide behind it.

So, shorter or longer?  What should I do?  I wish I had the courage to chop it all off and dye it green or something, but that’s not going to happen any time soon.  Although tomorrow is Halloween, so….. (it’s also my wedding anniversary, or would be if I wasn’t separated so I am focusing on silly things like this instead.  Humour me, please.).

Anyway, I will make a decision soon.  I will.  By next week.  Or maybe the week after.  Next month?  Sigh…

 

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