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Fresh Slate

It’s time for a change, people!

I have been writing this blog for almost 5 years now (wow – it actually feels like much longer…not sure if that is a good or bad thing…) and there are days when I feel really pleased about what I’ve posted.  But then there are other times when I read over posts and cringe inwardly.  Because I tend to overshare.  A lot.  Also, I tend to not really think about who is reading my blog, and whether anything I say could be damaging, either professionally or personally.

I recently discovered my fourteen year old niece reads my blog.  At first, I was delighted.  My beautiful, amazing, teenage niece is reading MY blog and telling me it’s “awesome”.  I mean, for an old fart like me who has never been cool a day in her life, that’s pretty rad.

Then I thought about it a bit more and went into panic mode.  There’s stuff on here I don’t want her to read.  Not because I have lived the life of a reprobate (far from it – I am LITERALLY the most boring person in the world.  I am certain if you look in the dictionary under the word “dull”, my name is there in italics somewhere) but because I am sometimes a bit too quick to spill my emotional beans and reveal things I shouldn’t.  And there are things I am not proud of.  And there are things that I should be more careful about keeping to myself.  Not because they are things to be ashamed of, but because they are private and personal and not meant for the world at large.

I’ve always been pretty open about stuff.  And while that is a good thing in relationships, I don’t know that it is necessarily wise when you are creating a blog that could potentially be read by millions of people.  Ok, so it’s unlikely that THAT will happen, but I still have to protect those closest to me and not share stuff that is really meant for private conversations.

When I was going through my marriage breakup, I spewed forth “woe-is-me” tales of my broken heart and feelings of abandonment.  I said more about my ex-husband that was necessary.  I don’t want that to be “out there”.  I don’t want to be that bitter and twisted ex-wife.  And I was, for a long time.  I tried really hard not to be, but this blog was an outlet and I needed to be heard some days.

But that need has diminished and now I just want to move on and not dwell on the darker days.  I don’t want that to be part of my story.  And the easiest way to prevent that, is just to delete it.  So that’s what I’m going to do.  I’m going to go back over old posts and remove anything that is no longer relevant or appropriate.  I want this to be an authentic blog, but a mostly uplifting one.  I’m not going to pretend I am full of the joys of Spring all the time but I am going to try and leave the gloomy, personal stuff out, as much as I can.  Because I think it will help me.  And I need to learn to be less over-sharey.  Or, at least, learn to open up more to the people around me, rather than sharing with strangers on the internet.  Because y’all don’t need to hear it.

So, anyway, I am going to changing some stuff and removing some posts.  I’m going to focus on good things and the stuff that makes life better.  I am doing it to protect myself, but also to project a better image to the young ones who are very dear to me.  Not lying or presenting a fake face, but focusing on the lighter side of life.  The world is so dark right now, the less misery and gloom we can bring into it, the better.

Hope that is ok with you all.  Feel free to send me a cyber slap if I regress 🙂

And to my gorgeous niece, and her equally amazing sister – your Auntie loves you to the moon and beyond.  Be yourselves and be proud of who you are x

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Quote for the Day : I am the Hurricane

“…I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls
with clean blood
and organized drawers.
I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests
at night when no one else is alive
or awake
however you choose to see it
and I live in my own flames
sometimes burning too bright and too wild
to make things last
or handle
myself or anyone else
and so I run.
run run run
far and wide
until my bones ache and lungs split
and it feels good.
Hear that people? It feels good
because I am the slave and ruler of my own body
and I wish to do with it exactly as I please…”

— Charlotte Eriksson

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Quote for the Day : You are not Everyone’s Cup of Tea

“…The world is filled with people who, no matter what you do,
no matter what you try, will simply not like you.
But the world is also filled with those who will love you fiercely.
The ones who love you they are Your People.

Don’t waste your finite time and heart trying to convince the people who aren’t your people that you have value. They will miss it completely.
They won’t buy what you are selling. Don’t try to convince them to walk your path with you because you will only waste your time and your emotional good health.

You are not for them and they are not for you.
You are not their cup of tea and they are not yours.
Politely wave them along and you move away as well. Seek to share your path with those who recognise and appreciate your gifts, who you are.

Be who you are. You are not everyone’s cup of tea and that is OK…”

— Unknown

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Perfectly You

You are so perfectly YOU!  You are!  As Dr Seuss once wrote “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you!”  

It’s hard to remember that sometimes – that you are YOU and you’re not supposed to be anyone else, or even try to be.  Because you were put on the Earth to be the best YOU you can be, not to try and be almost as good as someone else.  This is what I try to tell myself.  I fail, regularly, to believe it, but every day is a chance to start again (just like diets – they always begin tomorrow – it’s a known fact!) and just be YOU.

I made this little card with that sentiment in mind.  This little lady doesn’t care tthat she’s a bit rounded in some places, or that she has knobbly knees.  She doesn’t even mind that she doesn’t have arms!  She still thinks she’s a princess and a pretty damn awesome one at that.  She’s got the crown to prove – they don’t give them out to just anyone, you know.

Hope you are feeling good about yourself today – you’re exactly as you’re supposed to be and, if not, you’re heading in the right direction, bit by bit.  I know it.  Trust me, I’m a doctor.  Ok, I’m not really but I’ve watched ER lots of times so I know stuff 🙂

Thank you for dropping by and reading my silliness x

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